Say Goodbye, Stitchie! I will not miss you when dawn rises tomorrow, songbird.
I was actually up at 6:30 am this morning. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, cool and comfortable in the marshmallow cloud bed Jim just had to buy. I was dreaming that someone had dropped a spider on me and it fell in my lap. It was the imaginary waterfall needed to get up and go to the bathroom. How weird now when I realize this because I needed to go to the ladies room to avoid ruining my sheets (not from pee) that it was represented by a spider. Scary, hairy, creepy crawly spiders. I don't like to have spiders in my house but I also don't like to kill them .
Jim was watching SNL on the couch when I walked back through the air conditioned living room to go back to my more comfortable spot in the attic bedroom. I wasn't hot at all, felt that Jim was a wuss for insisting on sleeping on the couch. I even had covers on me. He says I flipped him off on the way back through the living room. He was trying to get me to watch the show with him. Being rude didn't even cross my mind but I was trying to get back to bed without opening my eyes so I could go back to my dream. I was trying to get back to that oh so comfortable feeling the spider interrupted.
After trying to fall asleep for about an hour I did actually manage to get a couple of hours in. When I woke up I did something I haven't done since I was a teenager. I picked up a book so I wouldn't have to get out bed. I never have that feeling anymore - of waking up and wanting to read. Maybe it is because I never read for pleasure any more. I was looking for My book by Watts - the title escapes me now- The Book: On The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are. Pantheon, New York, 1966 - When I couldn't find that I grabbed a thrift store copy of My Antonia by Willa Cather. I guess it got my attention.
Watts - The month I read Watts in 2003 is the month my mother says she "noticed a difference in me". Apparently it is a difference she doesn't like cause we haven't spoken in three months.
Personally, I liked the change Watts brought about in me. That was the Honors Course I took called "The Good Life". Basically how to find your good life. Sometimes I wonder why my mother has such a problem with me living my good life but she does. I have to choose not to dwell on it or I would totally try to convert her. That would mean speaking to her and I swore in June I would never give her any ammunition to use against me or use to talk shit with my youngest brother again. Besides, I tried to put it behind us for the sake of the grandkids and she isn't interested.
My good life includes above all doing what is best for my kids. Right now that means giving them a family life and keeping it stable.
I helped Brandi move upstairs to the third floor apartment. Her latest boytoy looks alot like an old flirt of mine. In the eyes. He has the brooding look about him that makes you think he is mad about something. He was annoyed for part of the day cause his friends wouldn't come help him move some of her stuff. They gave him the third degree as if he needed to justify why he was helping her. He is helping her cause she needs and it he can see that. I did the same thing in May, helping her to move everything I could from across town (she used to be my next door neighbor). All the crap that happened to her after that kind of stems form the fact the no one would help us move the big stuff so she had to ask her ex. Kinda sux that he spent his last free weekend for a year busting his hump moving but his choice. He chose to beat her up three days later and would have killed her had the cops not shown up when they did. After that, her house got robbed multiple times from her ghetto neighbors. She spent the next three months at my house. Basically. Now she is on the third floor and Ghetto crackheads are getting evicted.
I miss the selfish bitch. I am glad she is getting her shit together though. I helped boytoy carry some of her furniture up the stairs.
All summer, she crashed on my couch, ate my food, vacationed with us, messed up my house. I put up with her bird waking me up every morning -lol- Stitchie is already back at her house-
her depression, her dramas, and now her mother - Loreen - says I am not to be around Jason or she won't let Jason be around Brandi. That bitch don't know nothing about me and has the nerve to judge me. She thinks that I am a pill popper cause of the company I keep. Sorry to disappoint.
She has no clue how much her "daughter" needed me when she refused to give her the time of day. I showed up at B's and she came out and asked me to come back, that Loreen was coming.
She can't see me there. My feelings were hurt and I initially said I wasn't coming back. She came down to the car and explained the situation and I know L holds Jason over her head. I know Brandi needs to hold it together so she can get her kid back. Just pisses me off, If her kid didn't crash on my couch and have me to hold her hand she might be on the streets addicted to god only knows what with nothing to her name. Brandi said - I love you - me smirking - "I love you too " LOL , she knows we girls for life.
Still, Loreen sux.
Jim is upstairs playing Warcraft. He has been up there since 7 pm. It is now After midnight. Too funny. He is up there sweating in the heat to play that game. Yesterday he spent one hour with us from 10 am - 11 am - then he played warcraft til 6pm. It is so ridiculous to me that he spends so much time playing a game with people he doesn't know and will never meet.
He was supposed to work this weekend. The truck needed to go to Oneonta. Usually it is a Saturday run but he goes when he wants. When he got to the shop today the trailer was gone. I have a bad feeling about this. I told him he should call in to his superiors but ............
Whatever - he won't listen . Hopefully he still has a job tomorrow. I think they are trying to get rid of him. Ever since he left when his truck wasn't ready a few weeks ago. Now his truck is never ready, LOL. They sent him for a bloodtest the next day. LOL - he passed, suckers. I guess time will tell.
My husband has been addicted to that damn computer for about two years. I mark addiction as the time when he started to choose that damn game over time with me. Specifically, when I waited for him to come to bed tile 2am, 4am, 6am..... When he promised to spend time with me - who am I kidding - fuck me - LOL - so in my opinion addiction is addiction when you chose it over sex.
I know a couple of folks who choose pills - oh shit - have to take my bc pill - k - first time on the pill in years. Tried to get on the patch cause I can't remember to take the pill. LOL Friggin company insurance wouldn't cover it and it is too much of a pain to get it covered through appeals. They want Jim to have tons of kids so he has to bust his ass for them forever. Or so it seems. JK
Big and Rich - save a horse _RIDE a cowboy is on - Love this song, must dance.
Well that got the heartrate up. Add that to the furniture lifting and the evening swim I took.
Maybe I will get in a smaller size before school starts after all. I need to do more. There was an infomercial that caught my eye - mostly cause of the name YOGA BOOTY BALLET. I would have ordered it if it wasn't 40 bucks - well, and Jim said hell no from the kitchen.
So this is my first attempt at blogging. I think at least this way I don't have to worry about someone finding my journal and reading it. Til then
I was actually up at 6:30 am this morning. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, cool and comfortable in the marshmallow cloud bed Jim just had to buy. I was dreaming that someone had dropped a spider on me and it fell in my lap. It was the imaginary waterfall needed to get up and go to the bathroom. How weird now when I realize this because I needed to go to the ladies room to avoid ruining my sheets (not from pee) that it was represented by a spider. Scary, hairy, creepy crawly spiders. I don't like to have spiders in my house but I also don't like to kill them .
Jim was watching SNL on the couch when I walked back through the air conditioned living room to go back to my more comfortable spot in the attic bedroom. I wasn't hot at all, felt that Jim was a wuss for insisting on sleeping on the couch. I even had covers on me. He says I flipped him off on the way back through the living room. He was trying to get me to watch the show with him. Being rude didn't even cross my mind but I was trying to get back to bed without opening my eyes so I could go back to my dream. I was trying to get back to that oh so comfortable feeling the spider interrupted.
After trying to fall asleep for about an hour I did actually manage to get a couple of hours in. When I woke up I did something I haven't done since I was a teenager. I picked up a book so I wouldn't have to get out bed. I never have that feeling anymore - of waking up and wanting to read. Maybe it is because I never read for pleasure any more. I was looking for My book by Watts - the title escapes me now- The Book: On The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are. Pantheon, New York, 1966 - When I couldn't find that I grabbed a thrift store copy of My Antonia by Willa Cather. I guess it got my attention.
Watts - The month I read Watts in 2003 is the month my mother says she "noticed a difference in me". Apparently it is a difference she doesn't like cause we haven't spoken in three months.
Personally, I liked the change Watts brought about in me. That was the Honors Course I took called "The Good Life". Basically how to find your good life. Sometimes I wonder why my mother has such a problem with me living my good life but she does. I have to choose not to dwell on it or I would totally try to convert her. That would mean speaking to her and I swore in June I would never give her any ammunition to use against me or use to talk shit with my youngest brother again. Besides, I tried to put it behind us for the sake of the grandkids and she isn't interested.
My good life includes above all doing what is best for my kids. Right now that means giving them a family life and keeping it stable.
I helped Brandi move upstairs to the third floor apartment. Her latest boytoy looks alot like an old flirt of mine. In the eyes. He has the brooding look about him that makes you think he is mad about something. He was annoyed for part of the day cause his friends wouldn't come help him move some of her stuff. They gave him the third degree as if he needed to justify why he was helping her. He is helping her cause she needs and it he can see that. I did the same thing in May, helping her to move everything I could from across town (she used to be my next door neighbor). All the crap that happened to her after that kind of stems form the fact the no one would help us move the big stuff so she had to ask her ex. Kinda sux that he spent his last free weekend for a year busting his hump moving but his choice. He chose to beat her up three days later and would have killed her had the cops not shown up when they did. After that, her house got robbed multiple times from her ghetto neighbors. She spent the next three months at my house. Basically. Now she is on the third floor and Ghetto crackheads are getting evicted.
I miss the selfish bitch. I am glad she is getting her shit together though. I helped boytoy carry some of her furniture up the stairs.
All summer, she crashed on my couch, ate my food, vacationed with us, messed up my house. I put up with her bird waking me up every morning -lol- Stitchie is already back at her house-
her depression, her dramas, and now her mother - Loreen - says I am not to be around Jason or she won't let Jason be around Brandi. That bitch don't know nothing about me and has the nerve to judge me. She thinks that I am a pill popper cause of the company I keep. Sorry to disappoint.
She has no clue how much her "daughter" needed me when she refused to give her the time of day. I showed up at B's and she came out and asked me to come back, that Loreen was coming.
She can't see me there. My feelings were hurt and I initially said I wasn't coming back. She came down to the car and explained the situation and I know L holds Jason over her head. I know Brandi needs to hold it together so she can get her kid back. Just pisses me off, If her kid didn't crash on my couch and have me to hold her hand she might be on the streets addicted to god only knows what with nothing to her name. Brandi said - I love you - me smirking - "I love you too " LOL , she knows we girls for life.
Still, Loreen sux.
Jim is upstairs playing Warcraft. He has been up there since 7 pm. It is now After midnight. Too funny. He is up there sweating in the heat to play that game. Yesterday he spent one hour with us from 10 am - 11 am - then he played warcraft til 6pm. It is so ridiculous to me that he spends so much time playing a game with people he doesn't know and will never meet.
He was supposed to work this weekend. The truck needed to go to Oneonta. Usually it is a Saturday run but he goes when he wants. When he got to the shop today the trailer was gone. I have a bad feeling about this. I told him he should call in to his superiors but ............
Whatever - he won't listen . Hopefully he still has a job tomorrow. I think they are trying to get rid of him. Ever since he left when his truck wasn't ready a few weeks ago. Now his truck is never ready, LOL. They sent him for a bloodtest the next day. LOL - he passed, suckers. I guess time will tell.
My husband has been addicted to that damn computer for about two years. I mark addiction as the time when he started to choose that damn game over time with me. Specifically, when I waited for him to come to bed tile 2am, 4am, 6am..... When he promised to spend time with me - who am I kidding - fuck me - LOL - so in my opinion addiction is addiction when you chose it over sex.
I know a couple of folks who choose pills - oh shit - have to take my bc pill - k - first time on the pill in years. Tried to get on the patch cause I can't remember to take the pill. LOL Friggin company insurance wouldn't cover it and it is too much of a pain to get it covered through appeals. They want Jim to have tons of kids so he has to bust his ass for them forever. Or so it seems. JK
Big and Rich - save a horse _RIDE a cowboy is on - Love this song, must dance.
Well that got the heartrate up. Add that to the furniture lifting and the evening swim I took.
Maybe I will get in a smaller size before school starts after all. I need to do more. There was an infomercial that caught my eye - mostly cause of the name YOGA BOOTY BALLET. I would have ordered it if it wasn't 40 bucks - well, and Jim said hell no from the kitchen.
So this is my first attempt at blogging. I think at least this way I don't have to worry about someone finding my journal and reading it. Til then
posted by Shhhh, it's a secret at 8:21 PM
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